Welcome to Fucking Insanity

day 6,
I'm a night late, oh well. I can't believe it's be six weeks since I started this new cure. anyway..

Oh my fucking god this whole being alone/liking girls is gonna end with me running down the road with a gun in one hand and flowers in the other. It started with that girl I was mad at. I liked her last summer (god that was ages ago,) that didn't go well (long story short.) So yeah I was mad at her, but because I thought she was the most beautiful thing in the world (at the time) her look became my new "type."

Then there was the other girl next to my fourth hour class that fit my new type perfectly (I still think shes fucking sexy, the fact that she refuses to wear non-transparent shirts probably adds to that though.) But later I found out she liked rap music and had a preppy personality (I can fucking read people better than a written plot for a cheap porno.) And I hate preppy people...

So in search for a new lead, I was contacted by the first girl. All of my anger once again disappeared and I listened to what she had to say (I swear I need to stop doing this, why is she so damn hard to stay mad at? Apparently I'm not the only one good at mind fucking. I'll get you one day you innocent-yet-heartless piece of goddamned perfection.) ...Getting back on topic; She convinced me to join this Emo-Gothic website to flirt with girls. And that's exactly what I did.

And then I met the girl I'm currently contemplating about (she's described in a previous post, girls girls girls gonna be the death of me.) Anyway, the fact that we live so far apart is killing me, mainly because she's got the best personality I never knew existed, even if she's not playboy bunny, I still.. oh whatever. Perhaps I'm better off asexual.

As, for family stuff, my step dad is... well my step dad. I still don't share with anyone related to my family my personal problems. Which I think it's an issue that I don't trust my own damn family, I mean who else can I really rely on? The kids are still bitchy, and I'm still unappreciated. Also my grades have fallen in school and math isn't looking easy to pull up, if I cant get higher than a C in all my classes I can kiss my summer goodbye.

My current state of mind.. Well I guess it's not too worse or better than usual. Still wishing that if this cure is gonna work, it needs to stop teasing and fucking take off the panties already. Seriously, it's been to damn long with this in my head.

But I'll live to post once again, Even though the only one reading my posts is me... oh well I suppose I should go to bed now.. Goodnight Joey.